Mohagony Bowser-Beasley, 33
Rosharon, TX
“The great exchange: that’s what I call it. She took care of me and my children and my siblings and my mom and my aunt. And now we're able to take care of her. So, although it is not easy - it’s hard, it's frustrating, and at moments I want to give up and drop her at a nursing home - I would never do that because it's a blessing. I'm grateful to still have my grandmother here in my life. She means so much to me.”
Mohagony takes care of her grandmother "Nana" who was diagnosed with dementia in 2019.
“We try to keep her wearing her jewelry like she did before. It's not anything that she really asks for, but I keep up with her earrings and a bracelet so that she can have, you know, some form of who she used to be. Yeah. So I guess it's more for me than for her. ”
“She's going to keep her nails done, honey. She's going to keep going.”
“She loves Hallmark. On Saturday and Sunday, I can turn on Hallmark and it can be a babysitter for a while. She can watch Hallmark all day--that’s her happy place. She is able to see a grandmother and she’s like, 'Okay, I’m a grandmother.' It gives me joy that she’s still able to connect and see herself in what she’s watching. But if they’re having an argument on the TV or something bad is going on, she thinks it’s happening here. She becomes a part of that world, basically. Then I have to bring her back to reality.”
“My grandmother is a pastor. She has a doctor's degree in theology. I think it's her faith that's keeping her. The Holy Bible means so much to her. Even when she can't remember her own information, she can quote you the Bible front to back. She keeps the Holy Bible in her purse. Her faith means everything to her.”
“At the beginning, it was denial and a lot of pain. I hid in the closet and cried. I cried a lot. I screamed a lot. I asked God, why? I was very frustrated because this is the one thing I asked God not to allow her to get. I was like, “If You do anything, please don't let her forget who we are.” And she hasn't forgotten who we are, but she's forgotten a lot. I couldn't believe that God would allow her to experience such a cruel thing when she was-I mean she is-such a good woman.”
“She was a teacher. Then she was a private duty nurse. She always worked, always took care of people. So the reality that we would have to start bathing her was hard. She still has the mindset: “I can do it, I can do it, I can do it.” But she’s come to the knowledge that she can’t do it anymore. ”
“She poured her sweet peaches in her savory pasta. ”
“She lives with me. So I was able to see all the signs and I went to my family members and told them. No one would get onboard with me. They said it was old age... I knew it was something more. ”
“I was really, really tired and I came home and she was folding all the clothes I had washed. She said, 'I want to give you a break and show you that I appreciate all you do for me.' She had not folded since before her diagnosis. 'I don't know where these clothes go and I don't know who these clothes belong to, but I have folded them.' And so I was crying. I, sure enough, was crying after this.”
“We make a big celebration every Mother’s Day, every birthday, all of it. We want to celebrate and we want her to know she is loved.”
“She came out and this is how she was dressed. So I said: “You look good, girl!” I never want to make her feel bad or embarrassed. The rest of the day, this is what she wore, and we just went with the flow.”
“Even though dementia is robbing her, she still has her beauty. She's so beautiful to me.”
